Selfcare and emotional wellness when life gets tough

Around this time of the year, people often reflect on the past 10 months: the highlights… and the hardships. The image of a lab-rats running aimlessly on their spinning wheels comes to mind as we prepare for shutdown before the frantic festive season. We’re all yearning for rest and relaxation without time frames and deadlines. Luckily (hopefully), soon enough we’ll be sitting around the Christmas table, laughing and enjoying special carefree moments with loved ones. 

For many, getting to those peaceful, harmonious days towards the end of 2019, has taken much more effort and strain than in previous years. Life throws curveballs when you least expect it: failed relationships, job losses, accidents, unforeseen expenses, illnesses and even loss of life. 

I’m not one for clichés, but the Greek philosopher, Epictetus, was on to something when he said: “It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.”

You see, I lost my brother to cancer earlier this year. He’s been fighting the dreaded disease bravely for over 3 years, but his body was not as strong as his will to live. I was fortunate to be with him (together with the rest of the family) as he drifted off into eternity. Although it was a purely peaceful, holy moment, my comfort levels took a turn for the worst and I felt an urgent need to get out of the hospital room. 

I’ve contemplated on numerous occasions why I needed to flee, why I couldn’t stay in those surroundings… why I needed to get out… 

Thinking back to that moment, it now makes complete sense to me why I had to “run” – my body and nervous system was not coping and all my senses were going into high alert. It felt as if the pressure cooker’s lid was about to blow. Thankfully, I know my sensory thresholds all too well, was able to read the warning signs, and realized that I desperately needed to self-regulate to avoid complete sensory overload and probably a meltdown. 

Revisiting that day with an analytical view, I now recognize that I provided my body and nervous system with the much-needed input at that specific time, without having to think about it: my body intuitively knew what it was craving, i.e.:

  • For me, the easiest, surest, most fool-proof sensory strategy for achieving self-regulation was MOVEMENT!
  • While walking, I was not merely providing rhythmic vestibular input to my body, but also DEEP PRESSURE through the soles of my feet. 
  • While pacing up-and-down outside the hospital building under the trees, I continuously inhaled and exhaled taking DEEP BREATHS – another great strategy for self-regulation. 
  • Being outside, the warmth of the sun rays on my skin provided calming TEMPERATURE and I felt as if I was comfortably wrapped in a warm blanket of sunshine. 
  • As I calmed down, I became aware of bird songs, the breeze rustling through the leaves and other soothing SOUNDS OF NATURE

Following these sensory strategies, I reunited with my family and was able to be present and engaging, avoiding additional stress and ensuring selfcare at that moment.

When going through difficult times, be it physical or emotional, take care of your body and mind: applying sensory strategies to calm your nervous system ensures that you follow a bottom-up approach to reduce stress: 

less thinking, more doing;

less aftercare, more prevention;

less fight/fright/flight reactions, more regulation. 

 

KNOWING MY OWN SENSORY STRATEGIES SAVED MY SANITY!! 

 

To discover your own sensory thresholds, increase self-awareness and identify your unique coping strategies, visit www.sensoryintelligence.com and complete your own Sensory Matrix™ or the free Sensory Quiz™ for an introduction to your thresholds. 

 

Get to know yourself – enjoy living, learning and working easier.

 

Coping with Voting

Voting day is upon us!

 

For all South Africans eligible to vote (i.e. older than 18 and in possession of an ID book/card), 8 May 2019 is a very important date.  This is the day when you have a political voice as you get to choose your homeland’s future as one of the 26 736 793 (read carefully now!!) registered voters for our sixth general election since 1994.  One of our most fundamental rights as citizens will be exercised and we should all be very excited about this prospect.

 

Having said that, my personal excitement wanes somewhat when I consider the ins-and-outs of the voting procedure and process:

  • Wake up early on a public holiday;
  • Drive to your voting station, which in my case is a small community hall with limited space;
  • In all probability, park a few blocks away from the voting station and set off on foot;
  • Stand in a queue with (often) limited personal space;
  • Try to remain calm while there’s constant noise around you;
  • When you finally reach the inside of the building, you squeeze in behind a cardboard box, try to locate the lucky candidate who’s getting your vote on the busy voting ballot and draw your X in the appropriate block;
  • On the way out (you are sprinting at this stage) you desperately try to avoid a talkative neighbour who’s patiently waiting their turn;
  • As you reach your car, it becomes clear that you’ve been parked in (because you were there EARLY) and will have to wait for your co-voters’ return.

 

Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?!?

No use considering NOT to vote… it is your right!!!

But let’s consider a few sensory strategies to ease the experience.

 

WHY SENSORY STRATEGIES?
Because we all react in a unique way to our environment based on our sensory thresholds. Individuals will cope differently with various amounts of sensory input (sight, sound, smell, taste, touch, movement and body position). Some people seek more sensory input (brighter, louder, stronger smells, more spicy tastes, tickles & hugs, faster) while others prefer less sensory input (natural colours, softer, odourless, milder food, less- or firm hugs, slower). Supplying our nervous system with the right input, enhances harmony and a relaxed state-of-mind… as is needed on 8 May!

 

We have a few general strategies up our sleeve, to ensure you (and your nervous system) remain regulated during voting day: you need to focus when drawing that X!!! These strategies are universal “self-regulation” strategies and can be used by all:

  1. BREATHE
    Deep breathing is one of the fastest, easiest ways to de-stress.  Follow the outline of your fingers with your other hand’s index finger, pretending to trace it: breathe IN when drawing up towards the fingertip, breathe OUT when drawing away from the fingertip.
  2. SUCK
    Always have a water bottle at hand. Water is essential for our bodies and minds. Using a spouted bottle is the absolute best, as the sucking action will calm your nervous system even more.
  3. FIDDLE
    Take your stress ball with to the voting station or fiddle with your car keys.
  4. MOVE
    Moving your body is one of the easiest ways to de-stress. Stamp your feet to the rhythm of music playing through your headphones. Stretch your neck- and calf muscles while standing in queue. Sway from side-to-side if you start feeling stressed.
  5. CARRY A BACKPACK
    Applying deep pressure is calming and relaxing for our nervous systems. Fill your backpack with a water bottle and go voting with added deep pressure on your back and shoulders.
  6. SNACK ON HEALTHY FOOD
    Take along biltong, raw apple/carrots and chewing gum. Chewing will provide more deep pressure and keep the hunger pains away.
  7. HEADPHONES
    If you don’t enjoy making small talk, put your headphones on. Also, if you’re sensitive to sounds, headphones can drown out environmental noise.
  8. COMFORTABLE CLOTHING
    Choose your voting outfit well. Choose comfortable shoes and clothes that you enjoy wearing. Remember a warm jacket, just in case the queue is very long.
  9. YOUR OWN PEN
    An easy way to ensure things run smoothly on voting day, is to have your own black pen at hand. The person who’s in front of you in line might just have the sniffles.
  10. HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT BEFORE YOU GO
    Don’t go voting on an empty stomach!
  11. SUNGLASSES & SUNSCREEN OR UMBRELLA
    You might end up standing outside for a long time. Take your sunglasses and sunscreen or an umbrella with you.
There’s no reason to dread voting day … have your say … your way!
See you in the queue!

 

To find out what your unique sensory needs and strategies are, complete a Sensory Matrix™ and create even more harmony in your own life.

 

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