Category: Wellness

That’s right, forget about New Year’s Resolutions.  Try Reflective Practice instead.

Forget the pressure for everything to be perfect and to change all your bad habits when the calendar flips over to January. Instead of New Years’ Resolutions I’ve taken to a Reflective Practice for 2018. This is a more gentle exercise to reflect on what your year has been like and what the important themes are for the year to come. And the beauty of it …. they don’t have to be done on the 1^st of January. I like doing mine in the middle of January, when I’ve eased back into work and given myself some time to suss things out. You can do yours on any day where you can carve out about an hour to reflect on the past as well as the coming year.

THE STEPS TO REFLECTIVE PRACTICE ARE:

STEP 1
Find a nice spot where you feel comfortable. This can be in your favourite coffee shop, under a tree in your garden, or on your favourite couch in the living room. I recommend a notepad and pen rather than a laptop or i-pad for this exercise – there is just something about working on paper that takes us into our sensory selves.

STEP 2
It’s helpful to just go through your year quickly. Take a diary or just think about 2017 and write down the ‘bullet points’ of what happened in the year. These should include more than your traditional accomplishments – you can write down meeting a new person or starting a new hobby, or even a moment you specifically remember.

STEP 3
There are 12 important questions to ask yourself.  Here are some tips to help you along:

• You don’t have to rush through them, take your time.
• Go back to a question later if you wish.
• There is no right or wrong.
• Let go of judgement.
• Breathe.
• Write slowly. Usually, the first thing that gets into your mind is the one you need to write on.

QUESTIONS

1. What stands out about 2017?  This can be any moment, usually the first that comes to your mind.
2. Which relationship deepened last year? A friend you got closer too, a romantic relationship that deepened… anything can qualify.
3. What about your workspace did you enjoy a lot or made you feel good?
4. What about your workspace did you not enjoy or was difficult for you?
5. What did you learn about yourself during the course of 2017?
6. When was the hardest time of 2017 and how did you navigate it successfully?
7. What difficulties are you still navigating going into 2018?
8. What surprises did 2017 hold for you? This can be something big like having a baby, or a special moment like discovering a new beach or hiking trail.
9. What do you still care about too much that you want to let go of? This can be something like ‘other people’s opinions’, ‘money’, ‘worrying about things that won’t happen’ etc.
10. What was the most exciting moment of 2017?
11. Who in your life played a special role in guiding and supporting you in 2017?
12. What was your greatest life lesson for 2017?

STEP 4
Read through the answers of your questions above. Try and see if anything stands out – maybe a specific theme comes through?  Looking towards 2018, what is your ‘theme for the year’? Try and describe it in one word and then expand on it. The word can be something like “reboot”, “gratitude”, “positivity”, “action” or whatever speaks to you…

STEP 5
Take a deep breath and enjoy your coffee  🙂

May your 2018 be filled with beautiful adventures!

Do our free Sensory Quiz™ and start to discover your sensory wiring.

I love food! I love tasting food, smelling food and looking at food. Above them all, I love making food. For years I miserably declared that I don’t have an inkling of artistic flair in me. However, give me an apron, a wooden spoon, and a recipe book and throw in a glass of wine. Then put me in front of my gas stove and the creative genius in me is unleashed. Yes, I love making food and making it for others. No self-doubt anymore, I have art in me….

So obviously, when the Cape Town Good Food and Wine Show (GF&WS) came up, I marched up to hubby and insisted that we go. Insisting that we go alone as a date definitely did the trick. He agreed and we decided to spend some time during Saturday the 3rd of June at the Cape Town Convention Centre exploring the GF&WS. Some reluctance crept in prior to us going and for a few brief moments, I wondered if it wouldn’t be easier to just stay at home. That is what you get for working hard during the week and being over 50 – doing nothing becomes an appealing prospect.

Alas, the thought of seeing Marco Pierre White live in action toppled the scale and off we went. As we entered the convention centre the mixture of people, smells and buzzing activity literally flared up my brain to a state of exhilaration. I just couldn’t wait to taste, see and experience. My senses were all switched on, alive and ready to fire – all guns blazing. As a turned back – yes, I was kind of running to the stimuli ahead of my husband – I saw a different picture. There was obvious discomfort and apprehensiveness on his face as he asked, “Can you hear all the noise? There is a constant hum and buzz in my ears”.

The sensory seeker in me, with high sensory thresholds, was embracing this environment while he, a sensory avoider, with low thresholds found it overstimulating. But he declared: “I am doing this for you, and you only”. I was reminded that compromises often occur in relationships and that choosing date night activities are one of them. Shuffling through the crowds and dodging people made him very aware of his environment and placed him somewhat on high alert. The shuffling for me just created more interest and stimulation – where are we going and what are we seeing, smelling, tasting? I saw the buzz and people as a common denominator in our quest for sensory experience. My husband, on the other hand, saw the buzz and people as a sensory distraction and irritation. It helped when we sat down in the chef’s open theatre, had an excellent bottle of red Shiraz and was nibbling on the variety of wonderful food.

Marco Pierre White entertained us in a more controlled and quiet space. Hubby was happy and I was over the moon. I even got the chance to ask him a question – does he like South African food and has he tasted biltong yet? After that, we wrapped up the evening, had a great coffee and delicious, sweet nougat and made our way back home. My cup was full, I was happy, thrilled and sensory pleased and hubby could do his late-night unwind in front of the TV. I thanked him for making the effort for me, gave him a bear hug (deep pressure calms the brain), and replied that he can choose the next date night.

Understanding sensory diversity has been my quest in life but being reminded again and again how it influences our choices and relationships is such a blessing. Insight and understanding are key. I am sure our next date night will be a movie in a small, dark theatre or maybe dinner in a tucked-away restaurant. It will be an “old” restaurant that he knows and we will be sitting at the table at the end, with his back to the wall. His sensory system will be at peace, mine would potentially be somewhat bored, but the compromise is always worth it. I’ll be reminded of the GF&WS….

Understanding and respecting individual differences and different sensory needs should be the lens through which we see our partners. Loving and accepting them for who they are and appreciating their strengths do wonders to any relationship. So next time – to do or not to do? Knowing your sensory thresholds and sensory needs not only helps you to make better choices but also enables you to nurture your relationships.
If you want to understand your sensory thresholds and know which choices to make, complete your own  Sensory Matrix™ assessment.  

5 Tips for sensory avoiders to manage food and wine shows:
1. Wear a hat, beany, or scarf to “protect” your ears and head. It has the capacity to drown out some of the noises.
2. Let your partner do the people shuffling in front so that you can follow in the back. He/she will open up a path for you with less bumping and touching.
3. Go in prepared – self-talk and commit to staying in it and leave before your system reaches sensory overload. Knowing that you are doing this for someone else who you really care for help. We should always be giving more than getting.
4. Find a quieter space, corner or table (always the one at the side and not in the middle) where you can sit and be still for a bit. It can help to calm the senses in a “pause” mode.
5. If all else fails, just indulge in good food and drink more wine! It is not a blog about food and wine for nothing….