Marieta du Toit, Author at Sensory Intelligence Consulting

How to Strengthen Your Relationship – The Sensory Intelligent Way

Because there’s no right or wrong in love… just different and unique.

“Sweetheart, you complete me.” ❤️

“Why don’t you understand me?!” 😫

“Oh, darling, we’re soulmates.” ❤️

“You’re driving me up the wall!” 😫

Sound familiar? Chances are, you’ve felt all of these within the same relationship—and sometimes even in the same week!

Love is beautiful, but it’s also complex. Those first butterflies and sparks may be magical, but they don’t guarantee long-term harmony. Real relationships require understanding, patience, and a little insight into what makes us wired the way we are. And this is where sensory intelligence® comes in.

Your sensory identity — the way your brain and body process the world — plays a significant role in how you connect (or clash) with your partner. It’s not just about personality or values; it’s about how each of you experiences sound, touch, movement, sight, and more on a neurological level.

Meet the Sensory Identities (as portrayed on the Sensory Tree™)

Leaves (Sensory Seekers): Thrive on action. They love busy, bright, ever-changing environments and find energy in novelty.
Roots (Sensory Avoiders): Prefer calm and predictability. Quiet spaces, gentle routines, and low stimulation feel safest.
Trunks (Sensory Neutrals): The adaptable ones. They swing between busy and calm, adjusting to what the situation—and their partner—requires.

The Good News

When couples share similar sensory identities, there’s often less conflict because needs are naturally aligned. Leaves can chase adventure together. Roots can enjoy peaceful routines without pressure. Trunks flow easily between the two.

The Challenge

Opposites attract, but when stress runs high, those differences become glaring. A Leaf craving a buzzing night out may clash with a Root desperate for a quiet evening in. A Trunk, while adaptable, may feel torn between the two extremes. These mismatches can trigger relationship “storms.”

The Solution

Know yourself – Identify your sensory needs.
Know your partner – Understand how they’re wired.
Respect and celebrate differences – Create space for both of you to recharge in the way you need.

It’s not about changing each other—it’s about balance. By respecting sensory needs, you avoid unnecessary tension and open the door to deeper connection.

When you approach love with sensory intelligence®, the butterflies don’t disappear. They simply grow roots and wings strong enough to last. 🦋

Can’t wait to rip off your bra the moment you get home? You’re not alone – and there’s a very real reason behind it.
Wife. Mom. Granny. Daughter. Sister. Niece. Girlfriend. Colleague. Friend.
We play so many roles, often all in one day. And while we’re busy keeping everyone else afloat, we somehow still manage to look presentable, smile through the chaos, and get things done, even if we’re running on fumes and dry shampoo.

Women’s Month Self-Care: Why We Carry So Much

As the so-called “softer” side of humanity, women are often the ones steering explosive moments toward calm, choosing peace over pride, and holding relationships together while everything else feels like it’s falling apart. (Yes, we know not only women can do this, but let’s be honest – it’s kind of our superpower. And it is Women’s Month, so we’re claiming it.)

Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: the bette r you feel physically, the easier it is to handle emotional tension. And when you’re wearing an itchy, too-tight, underwire-digging bra all day long, that physical discomfort can turn into one giant internal scream by 5 pm.
Sensory overload is sneaky like that. Too much uncomfortable touch input for too long—especially in a high-stress environment—can leave you feeling irritated, frazzled, and moments away from a meltdown over… nothing in particular.

Sensory Overload Relief Starts with Comfort

Now, we get it, you can’t exactly strut into the office braless (unless that’s your vibe, in which case, go you!). But the minute you get home? Give yourself permission to get comfy. Ditch the restrictive clothes, toss on something soft, and let your body breathe.

Because here’s the truth:
Less irritation = less sensory overload = a calmer, friendlier, more grounded you.
And that version of you? She’s the one your family, your friends, and you love being around.

So this Women’s Month, let’s celebrate the unsung hero of emotional regulation: comfort.
Embrace the soft pants. Free the girls. Let your nervous system reset.
You’ll feel better, think clearer, and maybe, just maybe, make the world a little nicer in the process.

Author: Marieta du Toit

Relationships and the Sensory Tree™