Relationships Archives

Falling in love must be one of the most surreal human experiences. That racing heart, sweaty palms, pointless giggles, focused attention on another person and an increased ability to recognise the finest detail of the lucky recipient of your affection. It feels like you’re floating in a bubble of excitement and happiness and all you have to show for it is a sheepish smile stretching from ear to ear. Happy times indeed!!

Research has shown that the chemistry behind the initial phase of falling in love, might very well be explained by the release of certain chemicals such as dopamine, testosterone, norepinephrine and PEA (phenylethylamine) in the brain. The study of Pairomics (your choice of romantic partner on a genetic level) strongly suggests that your genes also play an important role when falling in love.

Thankfully this clearly shows that there’s a biological reason for newly-found lovebird’s giddiness and silly behaviour… which the rest of us (if we have to be completely honest) remember all too well and envy so much. So, if we can explain the wondrous act of FALLING in love, can the same be said for STAYING in love?

I have always been of the opinion that love should be perceived as a verb and not just an emotion. When you LOVE a significant other, it should not only be about sweet nothings being whispered in each other’s ears. Really LOVING someone should mean that you make a conscious decision to support the other person and care for them to the best of your ability. Love should be MORE than just words.

When considering how to LOVE your partner, identifying his/her individual preferences and needs will guide you to make the right choices when choosing LOVE ACTIONS. At Sensory Intelligence® Consulting, we approach individual needs according to a person’s sensory assessment. We all react to our environments according to our inborn sensory thresholds:

People with HIGH THRESHOLDS:

Need extra sensory input to function optimally
They appear busy, “on-the-go”, energetic and spontaneous

LOVE ACTION IDEAS:

Ask various questions about their day when they get home
Take them on surprise dates, to new places
Give lots of physical affection on a regular basis
Take them out for a night on the town
Go to cooking classes together at the hip, new venue in town
Go to the gym or do adventurous activities together
Arrange regular visits with large groups of friends
Don’t leave them alone too long… they enjoy things happening around them

People with MEDIUM THRESHOLDS

Easily cope with sensory input from their environment
They appear calm, productive, even-tempered and flexible

LOVE ACTION IDEAS

Ask a few questions about their day when they get home
Takes them on scheduled-, as well as surprise dates
Give physical affection from time-to-time
Take them to the movies or music show
Go to cooking classes in a smaller group at any venue
Join them in sport activities of their choice
Arrange visits with good friends as well as one-on-one time spent together
They need both together- and alone time

People with LOW THRESHOLDS

Need less sensory input to function optimally
They appear structured, organised, in control and reliable

LOVE ACTION IDEAS

Give them a few minutes to unwind when they get home
Discuss scheduled dates ahead of time
When giving physical affection, use deep pressure
Rent a movie to watch at home or invite a couple for dinner
Go to couple cooking classes at a familiar venue or at home
Give them time to enjoy individual sport e.g. golf
Arrange occasional visits with a small group of friends as well as lots of one-on-one time
They need enough alone time to unwind and regroup

There you have it… LOVE is an ACTION!
With wonderful, rewarding, happy results!

I bet you and your significant other can fall in love all over again, by understanding each other a bit better. Why don’t you both complete our online free Sensory Quiz™ or our comprehensive Sensory Matrix™. Take the leap… it’s worth the effort!!!

Are you the kind of person who likes to spend time alone?
Or do you crave to be around people for the most part of your day?

We all have different sensory thresholds – some high, some low. This means that we can take more, or less sensory input before becoming drained, irritable or feeling stressed. We are bombarded by sensory input wherever we go – especially visual and auditory input. So how do we cope?

Our bodies elicit a stress response when the brain has reached its limit of processing sensory input. We go into fight, fright or flight mode and we lose contentment, peace of mind, the ability to focus, digestive comfort and our mood changes too. This is no fun place to be, and so most of us would prefer to avoid a situation that might set this reaction and change in behaviour off.

For many people, being in a crowded place – be it a shopping mall, an expo, a music concert or a festival – is a daunting thought. For many people this is possibly the most stressful scenario to be in. Almost every sense is used, overused and exhausted in these kinds of places. Imagine it:

people wearing colourful clothes, posters with images, movies and text (visual);
people talking amongst themselves, music blaring, different sounds coming from all corners (auditory);
the many different smells of people’s shampoo, perfumes and body odour, as well as, of the different food or drink in the vicinity (smell/taste);
the invasion of personal space, people brushing passed or bumping into you, or feeling others breathing over you (tactile).

There are people who would manage just fine in this scenario – those with high thresholds in these areas. They would enjoy the mania of sensory input and be energised by it. Then there are others with high thresholds who don’t necessarily even notice that so much is going on. Their brains manage to filter out most of the information and they just carry on as though they’re anywhere else.

But, there are those who do not cope and leave crowded places feeling exhausted or overwhelmed. Their brain is in high alert and they are likely quite defensive, argumentative or just plain tired after such an event. These are people with low thresholds who have a sensitive response to this type of input. The brain quickly learns that crowded places are dangerous; a threat to our happiness and contentment.

When you discover that this could be the reasons behind your behaviour and your preference to avoid crowds, you no longer judge yourself as “strange” or “anti-social”. Increasing self-awareness on this level, with an understanding of the biology behind your preferences and learning new strategies for managing your responses, is truly freeing. It brings perspective to your life; the choices you have made and will make and how you have become who you are.

Isn’t it time you find out what your senses are trying to tell you?

If you would like to learn more about your own sensory assessment, do our short FREE Sensory Quiz™.
For a comprehensive 26-page report with tips and strategies on how to reduce stress and live a productive, healthy and happy life visit Sensory Matrix™.
Once you’ve done the self-assessment and would like a one-on-one coaching session, we can put you in touch with one of our licensed practitioners.
For team-building with a difference, get your whole team to do the self-assessment – you can contact us here.

Category: Relationships

Falling (and staying) in love

People with HIGH THRESHOLDS:

People with MEDIUM THRESHOLDS

People with LOW THRESHOLDS

There you have it… LOVE is an ACTION!
With wonderful, rewarding, happy results!

41% of people avoid crowds. Are you one?

Who has benefited

People with HIGH THRESHOLDS:

People with MEDIUM THRESHOLDS

People with LOW THRESHOLDS

There you have it… LOVE is an ACTION! With wonderful, rewarding, happy results!

Who has benefited

There you have it… LOVE is an ACTION!
With wonderful, rewarding, happy results!