Category: Education

Parenting is one of the most difficult and important things in the world to do.  And it does not come with a “user-manual”.  You have to rely on instincts and by the way they do matter more than google (even though I am a huge google fan).   You also need to realise that you are preparing a little person to live their own dreams one day.  Being a parent of two boys, age 13 and 9, I am absolutely humbled by the experience.

Even though having years of experience in child development, learning and brain science, I still have days where I throw my hands up in the air and wonder what I should do next.  It is normal and OK.  Raising kids and raising happy, healthy kids are not easy.  I started sensory intelligence in the parenting world.  I used my knowledge and insight from practising with children with learning problems to empower parents to manage their children’s learning and development optimal.  In this quest I quickly realised that advanced learning and development models were no good when the basics were not in place.   Hence effective habits for parents were born.

This is my list – a blend between being an occupational therapist, learning facilitator, mother, coach and mentor.  It reflects the basics and focus on how to get health, balance and love in your home. It was compiled from my experiences training parents over the years.  Not all items will be relevant for smaller children, younger than 4.  You get 1 point for every yes answer – what is your score out of 20?  [Don’t worry, mine isn’t perfect either, but I am trying hard]

1. Do you kiss/hug/give a compliment/say I love you to your child once a day?
2. Do you take at least one family holiday per year?
3. Do you have a set bed-time routine at home and do you stick with it 95% of time (at least during the week)
4. Do your children do age appropriate chores at home?
5. Do you buckle up your child when in the car?
6. Do you have set rules at home and stick with them?
7. Can and do you say NO to your child?
8. Do you eat dinner at the table as a family, with the TV off at least 80% of weeknights?
9. Do your children have at least one day a week where they do not have any extracurricular activities, structured sport and can just play and have fun?
10. Can you children play on their own and keep themselves busy?
11. Do your children drink more water than juice/soda per day?
12. Do your children eat at least one vegetable/fruit per day?
13. Does your child have a TV in his/her room?  – deduct one point
14. Do you have a TV in your room? – deduct one point
15. Do your children play outside/swim/participate in sport daily?
16. Do you have parental guidance and block set on your DSTV/cable?
17. Do you have adult content filters on your internet at home?
18. Did your child get a cell phone before the age of 10?  – deduct one point
19. Do you have a regular date night with your partner?
20. Do you have family goals and have regular house meetings including your children in the discussion (ages 8 and up)?

If you like our quiz, please feel free to share it!!

Happy parenting!
Trust your instincts, less is more, hug them, and never forget to have fun with your kids!!!

A gorgeous, 8-year old enters my therapy room, fidgety, tense and sensitive to everything around him. He sighs and says: “those kids are so loud”; “so and so are mean to me”; “I have so much work to do”; “when do the holidays start?” Term has just begun and already he is worn out. I look gently at him and ask him to lie down on the big mat and to close his eyes for just a few minutes. Just 10 seconds goes by with his eyes constantly flickering open, and there he is, upright and running to bash the big therapy ball; he just cannot be still and relaxed.

We live in such a high paced society, a way of life that demands so much so quickly, and we often forget this stressful way of life affects our children directly as well. We find ourselves wanting them to succeed in life so our children have extra lessons 2-3 times a week, do an extra-curricular activity each afternoon (and on weekends!) and then have to try squash in homework and study. Too often we associate correct development and progress as only actively “doing” things. When last did we allow them to simply play in the garden, scribble or doodle on a large writing pad, or simply be still and chill out? When last were we still ourselves and also with our children?

One of the best ever bits of advice I was given as a mother was to walk around our garden with my two little boys and pick and smell the flowers. Besides the numerous sensory experiences in that process, what a slow and calm way of spending half an hour; all 3 of us, (mum especially!) started smiling and enjoying just being. Sadly, it has happened all too infrequently, a sign of our busy, stressed lives as children and adults.

We need to learn to capture teeny bits of time to look, listen, touch, smell, taste, and move in silence. There is a big magical world out there waiting to be explored and captured. It will be through the times of quiet and stillness that we truly engage and reconnect with ourselves and our children so ready to explore.

Here are easy and practical tips to reconnect and de-stress:

1. Set aside 10 minutes a day for yourself as a parent to walk outside, quietly.
2. Sit on the grass, feel it under your hands, smell the flowers, listen to the birds, look quietly at the blue sky – show your child your wonderment at nature.
3. Put away all phones, laptops, iPads for 30 minutes a day and devote that time to playing actively with your children – make it a non-technological time – throw a ball, build a puzzle, splash each other by the pool.
4. Don’t set a target; don’t try to “solve” the task. Just simply get involved in whatever you and your child are doing, no matter what the end product is. Just be in the moment, have fun, laugh, be silly! Children are magical little beings and we forget how much we can learn from them.
5. Make eye contact – look at your children and take note! What are they saying, wanting or needing. The answers are often right in front of us, if we just make the time to look for them.

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