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Home | Articles posted by Marieta du Toit (Page 11)

Author: Marieta du Toit

Falling (and staying) in love

Posted on by Marieta du Toit

Falling in love must be one of the most surreal human experiences. That racing heart, sweaty palms, pointless giggles, focused attention on another person and an increased ability to recognise the finest detail of the lucky recipient of your affection. It feels like you’re floating in a bubble of excitement and happiness and all you have to show for it is a sheepish smile stretching from ear to ear. Happy times indeed!!

Research has shown that the chemistry behind the initial phase of falling in love, might very well be explained by the release of certain chemicals such as dopamine, testosterone, norepinephrine and PEA (phenylethylamine) in the brain. The study of Pairomics (your choice of romantic partner on a genetic level) strongly suggests that your genes also play an important role when falling in love.

Thankfully this clearly shows that there’s a biological reason for newly-found lovebird’s giddiness and silly behaviour… which the rest of us (if we have to be completely honest) remember all too well and envy so much. So, if we can explain the wondrous act of FALLING in love, can the same be said for STAYING in love?

I have always been of the opinion that love should be perceived as a verb and not just an emotion. When you LOVE a significant other, it should not only be about sweet nothings being whispered in each other’s ears. Really LOVING someone should mean that you make a conscious decision to support the other person and care for them to the best of your ability. Love should be MORE than just words.

When considering how to LOVE your partner, identifying his/her individual preferences and needs will guide you to make the right choices when choosing LOVE ACTIONS.  At Sensory Intelligence® Consulting, we approach individual needs according to a person’s sensory assessment. We all react to our environments according to our inborn sensory thresholds:

People with HIGH THRESHOLDS:
  • Need extra sensory input to function optimally
  • They appear busy, “on-the-go”, energetic and spontaneous

LOVE ACTION IDEAS:

  • Ask various questions about their day when they get home
  • Take them on surprise dates, to new places
  • Give lots of physical affection on a regular basis
  • Take them out for a night on the town
  • Go to cooking classes together at the hip, new venue in town
  • Go to the gym or do adventurous activities together
  • Arrange regular visits with large groups of friends
  • Don’t leave them alone too long… they enjoy things happening around them
People with MEDIUM THRESHOLDS
  • Easily cope with sensory input from their environment
  • They appear calm, productive, even-tempered and flexible

LOVE ACTION IDEAS

  • Ask a few questions about their day when they get home
  • Takes them on scheduled-, as well as surprise dates
  • Give physical affection from time-to-time
  • Take them to the movies or music show
  • Go to cooking classes in a smaller group at any venue
  • Join them in sport activities of their choice
  • Arrange visits with good friends as well as one-on-one time spent together
  • They need both together- and alone time
People with LOW THRESHOLDS
  • Need less sensory input to function optimally
  • They appear structured, organised, in control and reliable

LOVE ACTION IDEAS

  • Give them a few minutes to unwind when they get home
  • Discuss scheduled dates ahead of time
  • When giving physical affection, use deep pressure
  • Rent a movie to watch at home or invite a couple for dinner
  • Go to couple cooking classes at a familiar venue or at home
  • Give them time to enjoy individual sport e.g. golf
  • Arrange occasional visits with a small group of friends as well as lots of one-on-one time
  • They need enough alone time to unwind and regroup
There you have it… LOVE is an ACTION!
With wonderful, rewarding, happy results!

I bet you and your significant other can fall in love all over again, by understanding each other a bit better.   Why don’t you both complete our online free Sensory Quiz™ or our comprehensive Sensory Matrix™.   Take the leap… it’s worth the effort!!!

 

Love like Papa Smurf

Posted on by Marieta du Toit

As a youngster growing up in the 80’ies, I loved watching The Smurfs on TV. We were allowed only a limited amount of screen time, so you had to prioritise… and The Smurfs always made the cut! For some reason these tiny blue creatures fascinated me. They all lived peacefully in harmony with nature and, most of the time, with each other, thanks to Papa Smurf’s loving leadership. The beauty of Papa Smurf was that he had the ability to identify each Smurf’s strengths (and weaknesses) and created opportunities accordingly for each Smurf to develop their full potential and be their best! Sounds like a top-notch leader to me!

A lot of our kids today are in need of Papa Smurfs: key figures they can look up to, turn to in difficult times and trust wholeheartedly when life seems to go awry. They’re yearning for suitable leaders to build lasting relationships with.

So, as a teacher/parent/grandparent/aunt/uncle/mentor, how can you be a successful Papa Smurf? If I may share a few suggestions from my side:

  • Really KNOW your Smurfs/children/learners.
  • IDENTIFY their strengths and weaknesses.
  • DEVELOP an UNDERSTANDING of each one’s unique qualities.
  • CREATE OPPORTUNITIES for them to develop their unique strengths.
  • Make ADJUSTMENTS, where needed, to help them address and overcome their weaknesses.
  • Foster a RELATIONSHIP with each of your Smurfs, so they’ll know you’re in it for the long haul.

As we all know: children (people) differ and each has unique characteristics, which might complicate your job as Papa Smurf. To simplify things, let’s consider your Smurfs from a sensory perspective. They might include any of the following:

Handy Smurf

  • This sensory seeking Smurf has a high threshold for sensory input and wants to be busy all the time.
  • He appears active, “on the go”, is continuously engaging and energetic.
  • Some of his strengths are his creativeness, energy and ability to cope with unexpected change.

Lazy Smurf

  • Lazy Smurf also has a high threshold for sensory input but responds passively and has low registration.
  • This Smurf easily misses environmental clues, takes longer to respond and appears laid-back and disinterested.
  • Some of his strengths include his easy-going nature and flexibility.

Grouchy Smurf

  • He is a sensory sensitive creature who has a low threshold for sensory stimuli and needs less input.
  • He has a high level of awareness, becomes irritated quite easily and needs to be “in tune” with his environment.
  • Some of his strengths are his ability to be organised and having a good eye for detail.

Scaredy Smurf

  • Scaredy Smurf also has a low threshold for sensory input and is a sensory avoider.
  • He can easily be overwhelmed by the environment, needs structure and is resistant to change.
  • Some of his strengths include his ability to create structure and routine, meticulousness and attention to detail.

It might sound like an impossible task to build relationships with and care for all these different little beings, but keep in mind that somewhere in your forming years you probably had a Papa Smurf watching out for you.

Now it’s your turn to put on that red cap!

To find out what your sensory thresholds are, do our quick Sensory Quiz™. For a personalised, 26-page guide on how your senses affect the way you live, learn, work and play, visit our Sensory Matrix™ webpage.

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